A few months ago, I found myself steeped in one of life’s realities—a reality I did not actually want to accept. In an endeavor to escape what was a reality I now realize God desired for me to process through, I became very preoccupied with finding solutions. This preoccupation was a means of trying to make myself feel better about, well, me…because things weren’t going my way. Quite honestly, my challenges were in great contrast to what people perceived. As such, I allowed these perceptions to apply pressure to me—so I struggled to find solutions. What a mess!
While trying to map out my little “escape route,” I realized that I had forgotten I was on this journey with someone—my husband. Devin is not pushy or super needy, so it was the Holy Spirit who really helped me to see that I was lacking in this area. He helped me to see that since Devin and I are one, I needed to engage as a team player. Of course I love and care for my husband. But, it is possible that we allow the stresses of life to distract us from the fact that our spouse has goals, desires, struggles, victories, and a need for love and support as well. So, although I wasn’t doing horribly in the way of support, I needed regain focus.
Proverbs 31:11-12 is a good example of what happens when a wife is aware of her role in the marriage unit.
“The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.”
This passage implies that: (1) she remained emotionally available to her husband, (2) the husband could trust her to come to him in times of need, (3) she remained present—not distant or unnaturally introverted, (4) she wasn’t unpredictable—didn’t make rash decisions or lash out, and (5) she did not leave her husband behind—trying to find solutions and make things happen on her own.
When was the last time you made a conscious effort to remind your husband that you are in “this” together? No matter our goals, hurts, insecurities, desires, or victories we must not leave our husbands behind emotionally, spiritually or in any other way. Let’s commit to focusing less on what we want and need. Instead, choose to engage in meaningful conversation with your husband about what his needs are. Don’t automatically think all of his needs are sexual/physical. He will surprise you when you open the door for honest communication. This does not mean that your needs do not matter or that you all should ignore the realities of your challenges and desires (that’s unhealthy!). What this does mean, though, is that we must make conscious, consistent efforts as wives to pour into our husbands. Since God has joined us to our spouse, we must remember that we are in this life-journey together!
Cheers to no husband left behind.